There's too many questions and too many reasons not to try

You were the best

2008-05-16T14:06:05Z

Right now, i don't know if im ready to say what i want to say. However i will post an article that i thought was excellent and a few comments made by various people.

The world of tennis will never be the same again without the one and only greatest player Justine Henin.

This is an article by James Martin

Imbalance of Power: Henin's departure leaves a gap

Justine Henin's decision to quit tennis so abruptly remains a puzzle for the moment, a bizarre decision from one of the more unique individuals in tennis. But what does her immediate and shocking departure mean for the game? Without Henin, the Sony Ericsson WTA Tour is missing the most professional and devoted player during an era known for producing stars but not tunnel-visioned champions. Henin was all about winning tournaments and squeezing every bit of potential out of her fragile mind and body. Her absence means a major reshuffle in the tour's balance of power.

While women's tennis was wide open even with Henin in the mix, it's now a roll of the dice to figure out who will win any given event. The top players don't compete enough to dominate the Grand Slam circuit, and the up-and-comers have yet to assert themselves when it matters most. The No. 2 player in the world (now the de facto No. 1), Maria Sharapova, has demonstrated true grit on the court, but her body has betrayed her. Serena Williams has had health issues, too, and her focus on the game has waxed and waned. Only two other players in the Top 10 who have won majors, Svetlana Kuznetsova (2004 U.S. Open) and Venus Williams (four Wimbledons and two U.S. Opens), and neither has posted consistently strong performances over the last few years.

With such a wide-open field, players like Ana Ivanovic, Jelena Jankovic and Anna Chakvetadze, should be licking their chops. It¹s hard to imagine a better time to nick your first Grand Slam title before another dominant champion like Henin emerges. But do any of these players have the mental toughness and physical gifts to fill the void? Ivanovic probably comes closest, but she has a long way to go in both departments. What made Henin great was, among other things, her ability to handle the pressure of playing on the game's biggest stages. Serena and Sharapova also relish Grand Slam finals, but no other players are poised to pick up that mantle.

Of course, the tour isn't just losing its No. 1 player. It's losing an artist. Henin was to women's tennis what Federer is to the men's - an all-court maestro with all the shots in the textbook, and quite a few that aren't. Even when Henin and Federer are crushing their opposition, their games remain aesthetically pleasing to watch. Can that be said that about any other top player, man or woman? The WTA tour loves to promote its eye-candy but the real eye-candy for tennis aficionados has always been Henin's smooth and stylish game. On a tour dominated by monotonous power tennis, Henin showed there was still a place for volleys rather than swing volleys, and slice backhands rather than two-handed drives.

Amelie Maursemo has a similarly beautiful, if less effectively powerful, game, but she is fading quickly and may not be too far from retirement herself. Martina Hingis, a cagey counter-puncher—gone. Ivanovic hits a clean ball that appeals to purists, yet she’s still in the mold of the “Big Babe Tennis” popularized by Jennifer Capriati and Monica Seles. Anna Chakvetadze is one of the few younger players with variety, but has been sliding of late.

Women's tennis may have a surplus of pretty faces, but it's just lost one of the prettiest games ever.

Roger Federer, the dominating world number one on the male side said this:

"I have only just heard, but it is a shock for the tennis world, especially as she is number one at the moment

"I am sure she has her reasons, but it's particularly surprising as it's only a few weeks before Roland Garros, where she has had so much success, and Wimbledon is later this summer, which she has never won.

"It's of course, a shame she is out of the game... She is a special player, she can play on any surface, which is unusual in the women's game. And it's remarkable that she has won so many tournaments because she is small and all the newcomers in the womens game are tall, which gives them an advantage."

"She was rather small, which was more and more obvious during the last years because more and more tall players came on the Tour, so her successes were even more remarkable. It's a shame for tennis when the No.1 player announces her retirement out of the blue... I can't imagine just saying goodbye. That wouldn't be my thing. I feel I still have so much ahead of me and so many possibilities in tennis. I just love the sport. It would break my heart to stop."

Rafael Nadel, the other clay-court specialist said this:

"I'm surprised, but she knows more than anyone how she feels, so we have to respect her decision and support her. It's an important loss for the sport and for tennis because she was No.1, one of the best players of the world in recent years, so it's disappointing for us."

You will always be remembered as the greatest!

and of course, her famous one-handed backhand that got her to where she is today.

Beyond sad

2008-05-15T01:41:19Z

Words cannot express how i feel right now, im beyond sad and beyond anything i can ever imagine.

Im in grave shock and extreme trauma. I don't know if i'll ever get through this but i pray that i will, not at this moment but hopefully sometime in the near future.

I bid farewell to the greatest of them all, you will be well missed in the area that you were perfect.

You deserve more than a tribute which i will write when i get over my emotional break-down.

Oh God i love this!

2008-05-13T12:48:58Z

"In our modern age, when you call someone and can't find them,
you can pretty much be sure that they'll get the message.

But if they don't call you back,
it usually means that they don't wanna be found"

Those that watch it would know what im talking about, its a quote from one of the best shows ever. Those that don't well im sorry, you're missing out on a lot.

A little tip for you, don't start something when you don't want to end it or have no intention of ending. I'll be waiting patiently here for your next move. Beware, the game has upped its level and i'm more than ready for whatever that's coming my way.

Am i really like that?

2008-05-07T14:54:56Z

Something has been happening over the past few months maybe even a year. Things have been changing, relationships have turned sour and many other various things have happened. There is one thing that pisses me off so much tho and that is that people tend to always, really most of the time, associate me with something just because i like something that might somehow be related to something else and either make me do something for them or say bad things about me because of that. Ok if you're confused here's an example.

I was watching this documentary in church the other day about various young kids and stuff. So this girl was trashing Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears about how messed up they are and yeah i completely agree that they both are. However i still support Britney and stuff and still wish her all the best in her life, that being said i completely hate Lindsay because i just do since the day she STOLE Hilary's fugly boyfriend from her or whatever. But i've always been a Hilary fan and i am a true believer that if you like one, you cannot like the other. In this case i obviously like Hilary so i don't like Lindsay. Another classic example is that if you like Christina, you don't really like Britney either and its vice versa. If you're in between then you're just not a fan or both or whatever but thats not the point. So when the name LINDSAY LOHAN was mentioned like ALL the arrows started to point at me and like EVERYONE was using that example against me and i was like ok urm hello? i hate Lindsay? At least if they said that i like Britney i wouldnt be as defensive. Or maybe you know The Veronicas for crying out loud? But LINDSAY seriously. And it just really pissed me off because i dont like her at all.

So its this whole association thing that pisses me off. You really cant judge someone based on an association with something that doesnt even link at all or could? I mean thats not really fair or just. And i just give up because no matter what i say or do, the whole association thing is going to come right smacking at my face again. People just dont get it. Or maybe its just THAT group of people i really dont know and dont care anymore. ARGHHHHHHHHHhh!!!!!

Revenge, a good thing no?

2008-05-07T04:11:38Z

"Revenge is sweeter than you ever were"

Thoughts

2008-05-02T12:14:39Z

Being able to just walk really makes my day. I felt so alive, relieved, satisfied and self-aware after taking a nice walk out about in the sun.

Of course my lovely companion was with me while i was doing this, otherwise i probably wouldnt haha. It made me think a lot, well not about things that i want to think about but just about things like "wow this place looks so different in the day i wonder what people do here" kinda things and not about my future or any of those things that i've been stressing about since i graduated. It was very peaceful and serene i must add.

I was also able to enjoy and appreciate all the songs more than i usually do. And with the wind blowing, wow it was just so refreshing (:

---

in other news, i recently got "retrenched" because they couldnt afford to keep me. its quite sad i must add but my mum gets mad at me for using the word "retrenched" because its not what it is she says. But i mean if you let someone go not because of conduct or misdeeds or bad behaviour, but because you some how cant really afford to pay them, isnt that retrenching? well that being said im just not working anymore. Quite sad really because i was planning to go to Queensland in June to visit all my friends there. So i guess that dream is not going to happen anymore. Argh, annoying. But ya oh wells i dont hold any grudges, i hated it there anyways and i was glad i could just get away from it! it gives me more time to walk around now LOL

Aussieland (: Part 1

2008-04-28T06:18:09Z

Greetings everyone back in the sunny and really humid Singapore. I am trying my best to not turn on the air con lest i not get adjusted but its so tempting right now i might just do it after this post (:

So i had heaps of fun, shopped, ate, played tennis, went fishing and yes im not going to give you every single detail. You might just get too bored so i shall spare all of you from the misery!

Pictures

it was raining most of the time lol so it was heaps cold!

ook this is so ridiculous because its not true at all and i dont know why people think that this is what it is because its just a bunch of crap! they are associating our beloved country with crap because its all false. I've never in my life after living here for 20 years seen Singapore Noodles in Singapore and its completley non-existent! I dont know why people still think it exists!

just in case you didnt have a good look here it is again!

it actually became really sunny afterwards but i didnt take any pictures of the sunny ones, well i did but it was in sepia and black and white lol

The End Is Near

2008-04-26T10:19:10Z

After a nice 2 week break from the world and from everything, theres something in me thats not satisfied yet. Something that feels i dont belong where i am going. Something that tells me that i should stay put at where i am at. I really dont want this to end at all.

I was told that people back home miss me but surprisingly nothing in me jumped or said i miss them back? The honest truth is i probably didnt at all. I was glad that i was away actually. Wait extremely elated even. Well yeah of course there are people that i miss like those that i dont get to talk to online? Namely, Priya, Steph, Candice and yeah a couple more and of course Ammar, but the thing is that i still see him online so its not that bad? yes i miss his funniness and he never fails to amuse me. But really i was really glad to get away from everyone back at home. I miss my family a little not that much tho maybe because im surrounded by them as well.

Well after all this, i just really want to stay here. I really dont wanna go back. i know its selfish and everything but it feels really like home here. Im so used to the culture and just the way of living its just something that im so at home with. meeh oh well. See yall soon i guess (:

Too funny

2008-04-23T00:10:58Z

ok i took this from ONTD it was too funny for me not to share because its just hilarious.

This is a quote from yahoo.com about the 10 most annoying singers and they described Celine Dion as this and i completely agree with it because its just too too funny!

" I know there are millions of people who would beg to disagree, but let's get real, people. She sings 15 notes where one would suffice and turns every song into an anthem for self-empowerment. It's like getting an hour of Oprah condensed into four minutes. She sings. It's time to start the lawnmower."

LOL hahahahaha really true tho. It does make people feel good about themselves some how LOL my heart will go on? no? you be the judge

Writer's Block: More, More, More

2008-04-17T07:24:28Z

What would you like to do more of?

View other answers

i think i would like to actually spend more time talking to and hanging out with my friends because i dont think i spend enough time with them at all

Weird Turn of Events

2008-04-01T06:50:42Z

So i went to talk to my teacher today, Mr. Pok. I really have to thank him for actually sitting down with me and telling stuff about various unis and giving advice and everything. Last but not least also for giving me a PWC WHEEEE thanks lol i managed to ask why i actually got it too because i was in utter shock when i got it. Yes if you'd like to know the full details feel free to ask. I'll gladly explain everything. But right now only happy thoughts fill my mind as i enjoy my last day at home slacking.

Its been really great just sitting on my couch, wait lying, and reading books, drinking sparkling water, listening to music and just really slacking. Walking up only to drink water, type in email replies, type in msn replies and answering my phone calls on my phone and house phone. Its been pure joy and im just really well rested mainly and i really cannot wait to go to Australia! That's going to be really exciting!

I miss steph and priya a lot and i cant wait till we meet up again (:

---

in other news. OMFG ANDYFREAKINGRODDICKTHEFASTESTSERVERINTHEWHOLEOFTENNISHISTORY, who's only my favourite male tennis player in the world, who's 2nd in my favourite tennis player list behind Henin got engaged to a girl he only met a year ago. Yes im happy for him even tho i think its really sudden marrying someone he only knew a year ago, mind you they only started dating a year ago as well, but i guess if you're in love you do crazy things. but Whooo congrats Andy (: play well at the sony ericsson open k! I want you and Henin to win since my other favourites are already out its just the 2 of you left! Good luck! Oh and Justine is going to play against the amazon woman AHHAHAHA i cant wait im nervous and yet excited whooo!

Being Self-Sufficient (:

2008-03-30T15:58:09Z

Since im going to move out of the house sooner or later, i thought i'd start learning to cook stuff that i like to eat so that i can obtain 2 objectives. 1. to make sure that i can feed myself when i live on my own, 2. to cook stuff for my family/friends to eat.

Soo i tried cooking stir friend beef with ginger and spring onion. It smelled really good and it looked ok, you can be the judge of that because pictures are posted below, but i think i over cooked it to a certain extent. The taste was there but it was just too hard. My mum said it was quite nice lol and i said honestly please don't lie cause its really pointless, but she told me it was really fine, even my maid said it was quite nice just that it was just a bit too hard thats all so im going to try and cook it again this time hoping that i don't over cook it (:

Too Hilarious

2008-03-26T05:29:14Z

So i was just talking to rachel, trying to catch up with her lest she blogs about something that i don't know about. You know cause she does UPDATE her blog and everything and I don't wanna to be mentioned for something that i don't do like ask her about church, school, her friends whether she's coping fine with tutorials and everything. And so far when i read what she writes, i go oh yeah i knew that, yes she told me that already oh yeap i knew that too (; Wheeee so im ahead YAYness lol. Oh btw, the rachel that im talking about is my friend who just went to New Zealand to study whooooo

So anyways i was just talking to her again. This is how it went:

Ryan: Have you eaten dinner yet?
Rachel: Eating now
Rachel: ahahaha
Ryan: Oh GOSH
Ryan: I haven't even eaten breakfast yet!! LOL
Rachel: HAHAHAHA
Rachel: What!
Ryan: You're almost completing 3 meals and i havent even had 1!!!!!
Ryan: hahahahaha

Goodness its really too funny already haah time difference is really a joke (: whoooooooooo.

Rain rain, is all that happens nowadays

2008-03-11T07:44:11Z

So im just really bored at home and i've nothing to do and i can't go out because im sick. Great!

I really have nothing to do but just watch dvds and what not! Recently, i went on a quest with sab to listen to all our songs from A-Z. As easy as it sounds, all i have to say to those who think that, is "wait till you've tried it on your own!". Imagine having 28 versions of the same song and when it comes to that alphabet, you have to hear that song in 28 versions for 28 times. How great does that sound? Well lets just say that, that particular song is 4ever! I would also like to add that its not the only song that i have so many antagonizing versions of, there are many more out there like that (: Ok i kid! i love all my versions because thats the reason why i stupidly got so many of them. What i dread is going through Techno songs, Christmas songs because its so last season, Singers that i don't really like but have their songs because i just cbf to delete them a.k.a. Avril Lavigne and various others.

So i know im going to pull through these 10 days, ok well its 10 days if i listen to it non-stop so make that about 20-30 days probably! hahaah whoooo i can do it (:

Here's a list of the top 25 songs that i've been loving this year (;

5 songs that didnt make it!

30. Like You'll Never See Me Again - Alicia Keys

29. Until You Got Love - Jon McLaughlin

28. In This Life - Delta Goodrem

27. No One - Alicia Keys

26. Disarray - Lifehouse

25. Get Out Of This Town - Carrie Underwood

24. That's What You Get - Paramore

23. Someone Wake Me Up - The Veronicas

22. So Close - Jon McLaughlin

21. Over You - Daughtry

20. Hook Me Up - The Veronicas

19. Wheel Of The World - Carrie Underwood

18. Say - Ryan Cabrera

17. Praying To The Wrong God - Jon McLaughlin

16. Won't Go Home Without You - Maroon 5

15. Break The Ice - Britney Spears

14. You Won't Find This - Carrie Underwood

13. Gimme More - Britney Spears

12. Piece Of Me - Britney Spears

11. Revenge Is Sweeter (Than You Ever Were) - The Veronicas

10. In Another Life - The Veronicas

09. No Air - Jordin Sparks feat. Chris Brown

08. 4Ever - The Veronicas

07. I Can't Break It To My Heart - Delta Goodrem

06. With You - Chris Brown

05. All-American Girl - Carrie Underwood

04. Untouched - The Veronicas

03. Before He Cheats - Carrie Underwood

02. Jon McLaughlin - Beautiful Disaster

01. So Small - Carrie Underwood

Irritated

2008-03-08T07:51:35Z

Hello all just updates just because i have nothing to do and im like mehhhh

This is something that happens quite frequently and when i see it i get really unhappy. Its something very trivial and unimportant but i feel that i should say something about it.

I get very angry when people push the pedestrian button along a pedestrian crossing, not wait for the green man to flash and cross the road while the red man is still on. So this is probably what goes on in the minds of drivers when they stop at a pedestrian crossing and no ones crossing the road, wtf man where are the pedestrians? Ok i get that sometimes some pedestrian crossings are made to turn red to control the flow of traffic so that speeding does not occur or what not when the light just turns red. However its evident most of the time that the green man is flashing and no one's crossing the road.

Why can't people just either cross the road without pressing the button or press the button and wait for the green man to flash. I know that if i want to cross the road and not wait for the green man, i'd just do it and not press the button. But if there are too many cars, i would press the button and wait. Sometimes it gets to the point that the wait is too long and all the cars have passed already and the green man doesnt come on. In this kind of situations, i'd still stupidly wait there for the green man to come on because i don't want to inconvenience road users by doing so when they stop and no one's crossing. I really hate it when people just cross like that without waiting. ARGH it just pisses me off.

Ok thats all i've got to say, i told you it was trivial!

After all that's been said, i'd still like to educate pedestrians that it is NOT SAFE TO CROSS THE ROAD WITHOUT USING THE PEDESTRIAN CROSSING! We must all cultivate good habits by using pedestrian crossings, overhead bridges and underpasses. Besides crossing the road without the above stated is against the law. So kids please obey the law! kthxbye!

Not Happy

2008-03-06T03:56:42Z

I don't like how i have to study even though my exams are freaking over.
I am pissed that i have to go through this shit.
It wasnt even my idea at all.

Honestly if you ask me,
I don't really care if i fail or not.
Because i don't give a shit.
I just want the 15th of March to pass by and my life would be peaceful (:
I don't care about what i get,
i honesty don't..

rylary @ 2008-03-05T09:58:00

2008-03-05T02:01:55Z

ok this is just a test please ignore it (:

whee whee whee whee

Extremely Disgusted

2008-02-16T15:24:38Z

I am extremely disgusted with what im seeing. I know this post is going to be a total rant about everything im angry about because i cannot wait till April 21 which will soon be clear after the end of this post.

I freaking hate those new Veronica fans. They think that they know EVERY single detail about everything and it just pisses me off the way they interact with us older fans and they think that just because they have no lives and spend 6878647564 hours of their lives posting on the Veronicas forum that they are way cooler, way more well-informed and way more connected to The Veronicas than the old ones are. NOT that i am in anyway linked to anything that i just mentioned, i dont really care about them now but once in a while i go on to see what stupid pictures people post of them or which singles/videos they are releasing cause i still support their music. I mean come on just look at the date you joined the forum and STFU seriously! come on we were there way way way way back before anyone even knew them and before they became famous alright? so we're not some loser rejects that rode on any wave that they were on and were always there so you have no freaking right to think or act as if you've been a fan of them for your entire life. So what if you know more? It doesnt make you a better person in anyway or it doesnt give you credit for anything really.

I dont have anything against those who sincerely joined recently and everything but just watch your tone. Some of them really cross the line by going all out and blasting at people who've been there forever. And that just pisses me off because you have no idea what shit we've been through alright? So just STFU and leave us alone. IN gist i just hate all of the new fans because they think they are the greatest people of all. PISS OFF!

---

ok on another note..IM DYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO GG UNTIL 21 of APRIL HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSE TO BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT??? HOW YOU TELL ME I CANT LIVE MY LIFE LIKE THIS. I'VE ALREADY WAITED SOO LONG FOR THIS AND NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL UNTIL 21ST OF APRIL. I REALLY CANNOT CARRY ON LIKE THIS!!! SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN!

ohhh and people out there please upload the second episode of skins please im begging you!

Thanks really for everything...

2008-01-03T15:27:00Z

Evidently, what you told me my entire life was a complete lie. Thanks for all you've done really.

Thanks for all the wonderful guidance,

Thanks for all the wonderful advice.

I guess they are all lies as well?

What happened to that we'll always be there for you no matter what?

What happened to that you can come to us anytime?

What happened to that its ok to make mistakes?

So much for saying all that?

Obviously, now i know who i can turn to when i make a mistake.

And im sorry but that aint you!

well when he makes a mistakes who's soo ever willing to forgive him?

YOU!

When he's in trouble, who's there to save his sorry ass cause he probably has no brains to do it?

YOU!

When i've done something wrong and made a mistake who do i turn to?

MYSELF

When i'm in trouble and i have no one to turn to because my life is so f***ed thanks to my wonderful guides who do i turn to for help?

DEFINITELY NOT YOU, SO I GUESS ITS JUST ME AGAINST THE WORLD.

Well it was clear today what goes on in your mind and how everything works out. And im sorry to say that there are some things that you just have to learn to accept and live with, but for that to happen you have to actually be open about it. Dont say you are when you're not at all. We all know you live a lie that you just try to hide when its so obvious that the truth is staring right at you and you just cannot put yourself to believing it.

SCREW YOU!

The Joys of The World

2007-12-17T18:22:31Z

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (:

I had therapy today and it was freaking awesome! let me just say that i feel alive again lol and yes the old me is hopefully back LOL (:

i havent had this much fun in ages man! Yeah loser working life sucks but you know what? Its just the way its going to be and i'll probably have to go through this whole phase again at a later point in time. But till that time draws near, i think im just going to be contented with where i am right now and the people around me.

it was amazing wheeeeeeeee (:

Revenge Is Sweeter Than You Ever Were

2007-12-16T13:09:45Z

"Are you even listening when i talk to you?
Do you even care what im going through?
Your eyes stare and they're staring right through me
You're right there but its like you never knew me
Do you know how much it hurt,
That you gave up on me to be with her?
Revenge is sweeter than you ever were

Im so mad at you right now
and i cant even find the words
Cause you're on the way down
I hope you CRASH and BURN..."

thats all that i can say about you. So now that you're back you act as tho i dont exist. Great! You know what? I didnt need you before, i still dont need you now. I honestly cannot be bothered doing anything related to you at all. Your lies and deceit continue to surpass all expectations i had about anything at all. You disappoint me time after time.

I hate your guts and everything you do. Fine dote on your little angel for all i care. Honestly i cannot picture whats in your mind because its just a castle in the sky. An imaginary future that is probably never going to come true. Yes the world is unfair, but thats just the way it works, lifes a bitch. And with people around like you in my life, it just adds to the joy that i face everyday. Thanks for making my life a picture perfect world. Oh wait im sorry but i guess i dont exist in it, my bad!

Your little angel is just too wonderful for words.

Someone Wake Me Up

2007-12-06T15:38:37Z

I dont even know where i am in my life now? Im so confused about everything and school starting just instantaneously after SIP isnt really helping that much. I feel that i've got no space to breathe at all. Coming back to school wasnt something i looked forward to well not entirely, i did miss it but going back to what i left behind trying to forget every bad memory that i had was the best thing that happened to my life! Facing it again isnt something that im really excited about. Seeing people that i had differences with also isnt something that im proud of.

I must admit that i miss all of them really i miss the times we spent together. Right now its just a distant memory that probably wont be a dream come true anytime soon. I dont see what we had before coming back again to me. I guess thats just the way it was you know? Once a friend im sorry you're nothing more, that will never change? Its not just one of them but a whole group of them. I used to not be able to count my friends, and by that i dont mean just those hi-bye ones but those i can really talk to, but right now i can probably count them in the palm of my hands. Its just sad.

I was really happy to leave all those behind you know but i didnt wanna face it at all. I was contented with where my life was, but coming back to school was just something i didnt really think about? It really didnt come across my mind at all. Well at least im thankful i've made new friends that replaced the old ones, well not replaced but at least i can talk to them and be there for them. Its a cycle i guess, the wheel of the world. You make some new friends, then you lose some and then you make some again? thats just how the world works i guess. One thing thats changed is also that i treasure those around me more than ever and im trying to get as close as i can with them, to understand them as much as i can and to share everything i have with them. They are all i got and thats all that really matters, the quality is more important than the quality (:

"God put us here on this carnival ride.
We close our eyes, never knowing where it'll take us next.
Babies are born, and at the same time, someone's taking their last breath."

f***ing PISSEDDDD!!!!!

2007-11-29T01:52:01Z

What the hell!!!

why the hell do you try and f*** up my whole freaking life. You think you're so great dont you?
Just because you have authority over me doesnt me that you control my life.
I know my grades depend on everything but f*** you.
This isnt a game at all, it isnt a f***ing joke!
But maybe you should learn to start having fun,
or even better try to relax.
NOT every F***ING THING is what it seems.
Have you heard of the phrase "cut me some slack"?
Maybe you should really consider something like that!

you think you know every corner and every turn that we've gone through or are going through now,
well im sorry but that was f***ing ages ago and EVERYTHING has changed.
NOTHING is what it was before at all and you dont know anything anymore.

"You wanted me, not to tell me why,
Why and how you had the heart to f*** up my whole life,
That's just so you..

And now i've moved on by myself
And maybe I won't forgive you
I'll just forget you lived
And i hope it hurts...."

A Whole New World

2007-11-09T02:57:15Z

Ok trust me, the title isn’t what it seems to be at all, not even close.

It was great at first, I loved it, it was heaps of fun, satisfying and probably almost everything I dreamt of. Definitely not what I saw on tv, but still mildly close. Ok fine im lying to myself, nothing like what I saw on tv but I mean the thrill of it and just the whole experience probably got me a little happy. And yes I know this is what it’s going to be like in the future.

But literally months have passed and its totally different now. It’s like me sitting on the beach enjoying myself, listening to the waves and soaking up the nice warmth of the sun. My face glows with happiness because I am contented with where I was. Enjoying every moment that was spent there, not wanting to move to any other place. Sitting there and just staring was satisfying enough for me. Of course the occasional going in the water and wading around the shallow waters of the ocean was amazing. I’d then go back and dry myself and continue sipping my nice chilled iced tea and chilling out to my tunes that’s playing on my old ipod. It was just like what I never thought of at all. Everything I pictured, it was different but somehow I just loved every moment of it.

However, suddenly in the midst of my chilling out and just really enjoying myself, storm clouds start to form. Those clouds aren’t those that come with heavy rain that pours down massively, but they are just those storm clouds that look extremely threatening, but nothing really happens except that the sun is being blocked out and you wont feel the sun on your skin. Chilly winds start to blow and you get chilled to your spine and you run to try to find something to cover yourself because all your things get blown away. Slight drizzles start to fall, but nothing great. This carries on for days and days and you just cant help but want the sun to come back out again because you miss it so much. However, after waiting for days, weeks and even a month, you give up because you know that the sun isn’t going to shine like it used to do anymore. You try to find another spot, another new spot where you can enjoy the wonders of the beach again. You succeed at first, as that small little ray of light passes through all the clouds in the sky, but in the end the clouds are just too overpowering and it blocks that small glimpse of hope. Your days just grow cold and miserable all over again and that whole cycle just repeats itself.

That’s what exactly happened to me and I really have nothing to say about everything that has happened. I hope this ends soon, yet I am wanting for the period of time where the sun shone on the beach again, each day hoping and waiting that the sun would come out again, singing, rain rain go away, come again another day….

OMFG!!!!!

2007-11-07T01:27:45Z

Edit - Its all good yall (: hahahahaha

F****************************************************************************

what the hell!!! i did something to my lj account and its become like shit argh!!!!!
extremely PISSEDDDDDDDDDDDDDD